Thursday, November 21, 2013



The Color of Paradox is a supplemental work that enhances the allegorical interpretations of my fictional work, The Smut Sagas.  This book explores the philosophical dynamics of Eden, Earth and Lovea, including color theory of twin suns and how they relate to the gods.  It is an experiment in thought, to aid the reader in his or her understanding of these worlds and their interactions.
Throughout the course of penning The Smut Sagas, I spent numerous hours determining the finer details of my worlds.  I needed to know not just what happened, but how it happened and why.    God is in the details, and the details piled up.  In an effort to organize my notes and concept art, A Color of Paradox was born.  This book served as my personal reference material while I wrote The Smut Sagas
As The Smut Sagas are a parable for my own spiritual process, The Color of Paradox serves as a grimoire, not just for my characters, but for me as well.  The Smut Sagas, together with The Color of Paradox, make up the books of my own personal Bible, a Bible for the twenty-first century, filled with allegories and lessons from the gods, fictions that hold more truth than simple reality can.
Understanding the God-self mindset may seem like a difficult task.  It is a lifelong endeavor of learning and growing.  I don’t want to contemplate the essence of God all day, everyday, for days on end.  I just can’t stop myself.  I am the part of God that contemplates Itself.  I am often that little piece of God’s madness that judges Itself.  Oh how I’d love to always be that part of God that loves Itself and feels peace and contentment, but I’m not.  I’m only allowed that bliss in slivers.  Am I enlightened?  Absolutely.  Am I unenlightened?  Equally so.
My ultimate goal is to redefine the very concept of God. 
As a Priestess of Ishtar, I channel the wisdom of the ancient goddess in an effort to help those who feel abandoned by the gods (including myself, at times) find his or her way back to a magical way of thinking. 
Modern man has so obviously lost his way, for we have lost our connection to God.  The Smut Sagas, together with The Color of Paradox, are designed to help redefine and thus reconnect man to the Godhead, by helping people visualize and thus create a God that we can all call upon and cherish equally, even those of us who have no belief at all.  I am a universalist.  I believe that all gods are real, even those that are imaginary.  I also believe that God both exists and does not exist simultaneously.  The atheist simply worships the aspect of god that does not exist.  I hope to return faith to the faithless and hope to those who feel abandoned by God and thus wallow in despair.  I hope to heal our pain.
In short, I will help you realize that you are God, and just what that means.
When reading The Smut Sagas, the concept As Above, So Below is illustrated in both the stories, and the fact that both reader and author alike are treated as equally important players within the mechanics of style.  The acts of reading and interpreting the books are every bit as significant as the creation of the book, for without a reader, the book is meaningless.
My books work on multiple dimensions and alternate realities.  They will seep into the very fabric of reality and alter your dreams and viewpoints. 
I utilize a combination of fiction and analytical thinking to stimulate both the left and right side of the readers mind in an effort to propel one further down his or her path to enlightenment.  Ideally, the reader should utilize The Color of Paradox to remain engaged in reality and actively thinking, whilst simultaneously imagining the stories in The Smut Sagas (especially Shatter Kinder, which serves as an initiation into god-like thinking).  This technique should change the way the reader perceives the allegories within my fiction, giving them deeper meaning beyond their superficial value.  Reality is subjective.  Everything that is perceived happens in the theatre of the mind.  By utilizing The Color of Paradox in combination with The Smut Sagas, I’m hoping to add some colorful gels to the reader’s stage lights. 
Colors are like the minds of the gods, and exploring them can help one realize his or her path to enlightenment.  Color choices throughout this book are representative.  The burgundy color of the text is the only choice that has no significance.  I picked the color for no other reason than it was easy to read.  And since this burgundy color represents nothing, I also use this color to represent the concepts of “nothing” and “Void.”  The background gray represents neutrality, and occasionally value variations are used to highlight text for the sole purpose of improving legibility.   All other colors used are indicative and consistent, representing specific ideas or clusters of thought forms.
This book utilizes color theory to explain the inner play of both the right and left hand paths of occultism, as well as higher dimensional travel, and is the key to understanding the hidden message from the goddess Ishtar that is contained within my fiction.  This message is intended for occult adepts.  If you don’t see it for yourself, don’t ask me to explain it to you.  I myself am still a student, and as of yet, do not know what the entire message is.  I channel the gods, talk to the gods, walk with the gods, and like you, I am a god, but I have not yet reached my full potential as a student of the occult.
I hope that, when all is said and done, I will achieve total enlightenment and be able to help others find enlightenment as well.  Though I hope to blossom within this lifetime, there is no guarantee, which makes the publishing of this work very important for me.  I’m hoping that by publishing my work, my future incarnations will recognize this work, relate to it, and be able to stand upon my own shoulders to further expand humanities’ collective mind.
The Smut Sagas are interwoven with debauchery and sex, wherein lust is used to invoke a state of mind.  It is not perversion.  It is a message.  It is art.  It’s exercise for the mind.  Mind expansion doesn’t mean to simply elevate one’s thoughts in the highest direction; one must also debase one’s thoughts in the lowest direction.  Only then is the mind truly expanding in a balanced and sustainable fashion.  Masturbating is an occult exercise, every bit as much as meditating is.
Once, I attempted to take classes on the Kabbalah from some local instructors.  It was just some introductory meditation and background classes.  I was aware that it was probably well beneath my current level of understanding, but I hoped I might make some friends, and also, sometimes reviewing the fundamentals can be beneficial to remind yourself of where you are coming from.
It didn’t matter.   These teachers, upon discovering my work, decided that I am evil and would use the powerful techniques they planned to teach me for my nefarious plans, and they just couldn’t have me, or any of my friends, whom they knew nothing about, as students.  Yeah, I know.  I laughed, too, eventually.  At the time it hurt my feelings.  What kinds of jerks pass judgment on people who are seeking enlightenment or even just knowledge?
I’ve since come to realize that there are a lot of people who think enlightenment is only for a certain type of person -- whatever their preconceived concept of an enlightened person is.  They are only willing to teach people who look and think exactly like they do!  They will try to keep occult secrets to themselves and insult anyone who doesn’t fit the mold.  It’s very silly. 
Enlightenment is for everyone, even the damned and cruel.  A sadistic fuck can be every bit as “enlightened” as a compassionate saint.  God is everywhere, even in cruelty.  If you wish, you can use enlightenment to purify your soul as a vessel of God’s true evil.  If it is your path to be damned, then be perfect in your damnation.  Most who seek enlightenment do quest to become angels instead of demons, and those who seek to become demons often call their quest something else altogether (endarkenment LOL).  And some must become demons before they can seek redemption, so who am I, as a teacher, to deny him or her the knowledge required for that path?  Some think of themselves as guardians of occult knowledge.  I just have to laugh at this.  The knowledge is always there, free for anyone and everyone who seek it, and I have no right (or capability) to deny anyone this information. 

Meet the Players
ID #
Uncorrected Appearance




Cyan Blue

Green Cyan

Green Yellow

Yesod Brown
Tiphareth Gray
Daath Blue (Sky Blue)


Neutral Burgundy

Neutral Gray

Note: Uncorrected colors are automatically generated by the computer when images are color inverted in Photoshop.  Because Chaos color is not actual, colors do not convert accurately.
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